Forget Murphy Brown

“Now that she is no longer doing Murphy Brown, it dawned on me that she may want to do a story or two for us,” 60 Minutes executive producer Don Hewitt told New York magazine (8/17/98). Once they spot a story “worth her doing,” they’ll give actress Candice Bergen “a chance to do it.”

Will Brown–er, Bergen–fit in as a real journalist? She spent years playing a reporter who relentlessly tried to embarrass the powerful, who was twice banned from the White House. Brown purportedly punched out Jeanne Kirkpatrick and cut her own hair just to tick off her network bosses.

Such a depiction of a big-name reporter is a fantasy that borders on disinformation. Murphy Brown, with its notion that journalists are a bunch of former hippies bent on exposing wrongdoing in high places, has been no bit player in advancing the myth of a “liberal media.”

If the networks are going to blur the all-but-invisible line between news and entertainment, they should at least choose a fictional reporter who will fit into today’s media environment. We nominate the Simpsons‘ Kent Brockman, anchor of Springfield’s Smartline and Action News. Among Kent’s qualifications:

Knows the power of language:

Keeps viewers intrigued:

Impeccable news judgment: When a boy trapped in a well captures the nation’s imagination, Brockman announces:

Later, when the boy down in the well turns out to be Bart Simpson, the media turn their attention to a squirrel that looks like Abe Lincoln. When citizens band together to dig Bart out, Kent comes on with a news flash:

Puts issues in perspective:

Able to concisely frame the debate:

Willing to admit when he doesn’t have all the facts: When Homer is falsely accused of sexual harassment, a less ethical journalist, Godfrey Jones of Rock Bottom, splices together a bogus confession, while the Fox network offers a sensationalistic TV movie: Homer S.: Portrait of an Ass-Grabber. But Kent maintains his journalistic standards:

Willing to admit mistakes: When Homer narrowly averts a nuclear meltdown, plant owner Montgomery Burns tells Brockman that it was all a “false alarm.” The anchor is apologetic:

Thinks fast under pressure: When Brockman mistakenly believes that gigantic ants from outer space are poised to take over the Earth, he doesn’t miss a beat: “I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.”

When he realizes that he was mistaken about the giant ants, he issues a timely retraction: “This reporter was possibly a little hasty earlier, and would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president.”

Sam Husseini amazes and annoys his friends by muttering Simpsons lines as the characters say them.